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About the author: Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, was the scourge of the Jedi, a master of the dark side of the Force, and one of the Emperor's most trusted servants.
He brought an end to the Clone Wars by slaughtering all the masterminds of the Confederacy of Independent Systems on Mustafar. He was brought peace and order to the new Empire, wiping away the corruption and chaos of the Republic.
But he isn't always a fearsome enforcer, however. Lord Vader enjoys fencing, sorcery, studying ancient religions, and long walks down the corridors of starships. His turn offs are failure, backtalk, lack of faith, and sand. 
Tags: A New Hope, by Eznok, flux capacitor, land speeder, Sand People
October 21st, 2008 at 12:52 pm
“so pleez, emteevee, pimpz mai ride!!”
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October 21st, 2008 at 12:59 pm
“Omg, is that a body?!”
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October 21st, 2008 at 1:00 pm
“Damn! How do you fix this thing?”
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October 21st, 2008 at 1:04 pm
“Uh, guys? I think we were only supposed to WASH the landspeeder!”
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October 21st, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I see your problem…
You got these dorks working on your car!
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October 21st, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Motivational:
“Landspeeder-
Used. Runs great, but may need some work. Sandpeople not included, we promise.”
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October 21st, 2008 at 1:11 pm
“I callz shotgun!”
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October 21st, 2008 at 1:12 pm
“Me thinks we brokeded it.”
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October 21st, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Top:”We’s in your film.”
Bottom: “Making your life difficult.”
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October 21st, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Or, a similar one.
Top: “We’s in your film.”
Bottom: “Taking your landspeeder apart.”
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October 21st, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Top:”You calls this FIXED?!”
Bottom: “I wants my money back!”
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October 21st, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Motivational:
“Sandpeople-
Worst mechanics ever.”
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October 21st, 2008 at 2:26 pm
“WTF IS THIS SHIT?”
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October 21st, 2008 at 3:16 pm
“Dude…. your ride SUX!! “
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October 21st, 2008 at 3:17 pm
” LOL…. LOJACK”
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October 21st, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Dude, where are the tires!?
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October 21st, 2008 at 3:25 pm
“Mos Espa local race team!”
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October 21st, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Motivational-
“Peace of Mind
Lots of things go through your mind after a sandpeople attack. Where am I? Who am I? Wheres my leg? But with All-space speeder insurance replacing your damaged speeder won’t be one of them. If you survive we will replace your speeder for free. Thats all-space’s stand, are you in good hands?”
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October 21st, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Why do we always have leftover parts?
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October 21st, 2008 at 4:38 pm
“Aw, man, they took my tires…”
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October 21st, 2008 at 4:51 pm
budget pod racing
fun for all the family
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October 21st, 2008 at 5:04 pm
“Damn, where are teh hubcaps on this thing?”
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October 21st, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Motivational: “Tuskens- In yur deserts, hotwirin yur speederz”
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October 21st, 2008 at 5:27 pm
“iz nice, but whut iz teh milage?”
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October 21st, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Sand people, the mexicans of the Star Wars galaxy.
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October 21st, 2008 at 5:28 pm
“tehy sez r all out of priuses”
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October 21st, 2008 at 5:31 pm
“lets see……take part A and place in section C…. WTF is section C….”
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October 21st, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Motivational:
“Looting”
“Because what else is there to do in the freakin desert”
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October 21st, 2008 at 5:56 pm
I swear Grez there ain’t no way Gronk is gonna get that crappy paint job in Carl Caspar’s Autoshow no matter how “classic” his ride is….
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October 21st, 2008 at 5:57 pm
“Damnit, Carl! How many times do I have to tell you? That doesn’t go there!!”
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October 21st, 2008 at 6:04 pm
“Lets make dis landspeeder go BOOM!”
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October 21st, 2008 at 6:50 pm
“Crap, where did I put my keyz?”
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October 21st, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Zeriuzly, iz think uz dun enuf!!! PUT DOUN THA RENCH!!!
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October 21st, 2008 at 9:37 pm
“Meh, teh X-34 iz not in demand anymoar. We needz an X-38.”
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October 21st, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Due to the current economic crisis, the sand people are forced (No pun intended) to sell their old dust bucket.
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October 21st, 2008 at 11:22 pm
“Ok, here plan….we steal dis, den hit Burger Lord drive thru for some cheezburgers”
“K”
“K”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 12:16 am
“you know, you could use this gasket as a wedding ring!”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 1:25 am
(top) “Dirty Jobs”
(bottom) “Tonight’s show: Tusken Mechanics. Mike journeys to Tattooine to help out the Sand People.”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 6:03 am
top: dudz check this s#!* out!
bottom: WTF iz dat?
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October 22nd, 2008 at 6:12 am
Sandpeople + landspeeder = more junk for Jawas
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October 22nd, 2008 at 7:56 am
“You can’t tell, but we have spinners on this thing”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 8:53 am
Let’s take this Flux Capacitor and sell it to another movie.
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October 22nd, 2008 at 9:02 am
Guy on the left pointing: “Let’s take this Flux Capacitor and sell it to another movie.”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 11:24 am
“You’ve wasted another perfectly good hour listening to Sandspeeder Talk with us, Click and Clack, the Tusken brothers.”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 11:25 am
“Aw, man, they gave me a ticket.”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 11:27 am
“They even stole my ‘Go Pods!’ bumper sticker.”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 11:29 am
“No, see, you put the charcoal in here and you can grill up a womp-rat in half an hour. Them’s tasty eating.”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 1:37 pm
“HOLEE KRAP!! DIS IS NUKE-POWARED!!!”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
The tusken on the far right:
“Hey look! I found a nickel!”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Did you not think to grab the keys when you mugged that Luke kid?
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October 22nd, 2008 at 3:56 pm
“See this magnagrav torque generator here? It’s no good for this type of speeder, trust me. If what you want is maximum performance over desert terrain, you’d need to get a XP-38 transmission and adjust the lateral repulsorlift so the forward speed… er, I mean, GNYARKH-GHNYAAARKH!”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 4:01 pm
“Ah Fukk it, I givez up”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Top- “Grand Theft Auto”
Bottom – “Tatooine
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October 22nd, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Top- “Grand Theft Auto”
Bottom- “Jundland Wastes”
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October 22nd, 2008 at 11:43 pm
WHAT?!!? I’VE FOUND BETTER CRAP THEN THIS ON eBAY!!!
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October 22nd, 2008 at 11:44 pm
“WHAT?!!? I’VE FOUND BETTER CRAP THEN THIS ON eBAY!!!”
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October 23rd, 2008 at 5:43 am
According to the Ikea directions, we’re done. Now where the #%& does this part go?
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October 23rd, 2008 at 9:26 am
The tusken on the left:
“Wow. This thing’s pretty much rigged to explode! Whoever that kid bought it from was trying to kill him.”
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October 23rd, 2008 at 9:56 am
First: “Hey, I found an expired condom!”
Second: “And I found an active grenade!”
Third: “Wait. OSHI–!”
BOOM!
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October 23rd, 2008 at 12:56 pm
” I swears, it just fell off”
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October 23rd, 2008 at 3:44 pm
MY PRECIUOSSSSSSS
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October 23rd, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Oh Shit, I Dont think that was spose to come off
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October 23rd, 2008 at 7:10 pm
News Headline:
Ford moves its production line offshore
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October 23rd, 2008 at 7:27 pm
“Man, this things got some nice suspension”
“Tru”
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October 23rd, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Motivational:
“OUTSOURCING – because sandpeople have lower pay rates.”
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October 23rd, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Top line “manz dis bomb is shiz to da izzay!”
bottom line “fo’sho, bra”
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October 23rd, 2008 at 9:30 pm
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October 23rd, 2008 at 9:30 pm
“Ah…here’s your problem, you are low on blinker fluid and your muffler bearings are worn.”
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October 24th, 2008 at 12:28 am
dam! no cookiez
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October 24th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Middle ” I farted”
Left ” lol”
right “lol”
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October 24th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
“No, you idiot – that’s 3/16… Hand me the 1/4″ hydrospanner!”
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October 24th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Motivational:
“Technical Support-
On Tatooine possible difficulties with that”
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October 24th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
We’re in ur speederz
stealin ur stereo
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October 24th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
“Dudze! Da jawaz stolez my 24″ spinnaz!”
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October 24th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
OMG!
did we do THAT!?!
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October 24th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
I am in your carz
stealin ur change
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October 24th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
left: im drivin!
middle: shotgun!
right: shorgun’s lap!
middle: fuck!
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October 24th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
top; “Steal Now,”
Bottom: “Figure out what the heck it is later”
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October 25th, 2008 at 2:01 am
Landspeeder Dealer: It may be an older model. But it’s got LOW low miles and plenty of options!
Couple: I don’t know……he seems pretty shady
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October 25th, 2008 at 7:02 am
grunt! check out my pimped-out landspeeder you tusken C**TS
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October 25th, 2008 at 10:25 am
We canz fix it, but it’s gonna cost yoo.
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October 25th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
Motivational-
“Tuskan Snakes-
Once it gets lost in the backseat, NOBODY can find it.”
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October 26th, 2008 at 10:57 am
“We canz fix it, but it’s gonna coschoo”
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October 26th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
F***ING PIKEYS WHO STOLE MY WHEELS CANT EVEN AFFORD BREEZE BLOCKS
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October 26th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
WE CAN HAS SPEEDSTERZ?
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October 26th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Hey! This heap doesn’t look like it could do the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs! I think that Solo guy ripped us off!
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October 27th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Motivational-
Tuscken-Boom
“Have a baby for love, not for Sandpeople engineering.”
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January 14th, 2010 at 5:58 pm
Left tusken : ooooh… whut doez dis button do? *click*
*Wtf bomb activates* -BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP-
All three tuskens: wtf? -BOOOOOM!!!!- *evil laughter*
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